No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
