I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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