ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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