so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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