I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
