You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
