I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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