So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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