Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I smell stomach acid.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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