I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
