Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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