I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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