you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I supernannyed him into submission
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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