Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Drake has all the answers
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
