i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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