You made me cry and you don't even care
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
