Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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