:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
