man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
