Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
