If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
