I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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