I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize