did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
