wat bout pragnant strippers??
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
