I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
