She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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