You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize