Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
