i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
