so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
