on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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