so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
