Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I think my fart just growled at me.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this

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(248): View more from Michigan

I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch

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(410): View more from Maryland

She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with

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(510): View more from California

I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college

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(519): View more from Ontario

his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own

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(208): View more from Idaho

Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.

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(520): View more from Arizona

I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.

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(210): View more from Texas

I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO

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