I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I have post one night stand depression
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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