i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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