I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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