I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
