glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
