what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
