HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
