He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
