yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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