Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
My dick has a subreddit
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
