just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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