thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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