Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
