Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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