I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
