just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
