He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
