Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
